{07/01/2012}   Pre-diet binge

I am on a train home, writing on an iPad keyboard, which I am not that good at doing.

I visited one of my longest-known friends today, Carolyn. She has lost three stone in weight and is looking really good for it.  Thanks to her, I am hoping I may have a final kick up my podgy backside to do something about my spiralling weight gain.

I have long realised that my issue isn’t so much what I eat (90% of what I eat at home is cooked from scratch) or even excessive snacking, it’s portion size.  And cheese.  And alcohol.

My friend is doing Weight Watchers and says it’s a system/eating habit she finds easy to maintain.  I am not going to join but I am intending to attempt to only cook as much as I can eat instead of, “well, I might as well finish that off” or, “surely that’s not enough, I’ll add more just in case” or, “I can always eat the leftovers tomorrow”.  You can see where I’m going with this!  I eat the whole lot.  And usually feel full part way through.  What should I do?  Leave it!  I can’t though, it’s rude not to eat everything on your plate and its’s wasteful to chuck edible food out.  Here is where I blame my mum.  Poor mum, it’s so not her fault she brought me up to eat everything and be grateful for having food to eat, that’s also good manners, unfortunately.

I see the key is to only cook what I can eat. I also like that fruit and vegetables are nil point, zero points, eat-as-many-as-you-like (there may be a caveat though!).

I am wondering whether I can keep a food diet. It would probably stop me eating some things. I have the ingredients for [Italian dish I can’t think of the name of – with aubergines, tomatoes and cheese], bought yesterday, ie before my great diet plans. I feel this is a good place to start. I was peckish at the station earlier, so instead of some unsuitable snack, I bought some prepared pineapple and it’s done the trick.

Is it bad to start a diet with pre-diet-eat-up-all-unhealthy-stuff-binge? I am so not going to chuck good cheese, Christmas cake … yes, I will not waste so I will eat things up then start.  Not being (food) wasteful, along with losing weight, are part of my resolutions.

I have realised for quite some time I want and need to lose weight.  I look at my reflection in mirrors and windows more than I ever used to, I seem to take twisted satisfaction in seeing a much larger me than I’m used to.  I absolutely hate seeing photos of me now, I realise I would describe me as “fat” to someone who didn’t know me.  I don’t think my current weight suits me or is good for me.

2012 is so far a year in which I am planning to DO a lot, make changes and see challenges through. I have never been this determined to get things done. Here’s hoping I write in this every day until 29th June and I lose two dress sizes. Hurrah for fruit and veg!


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