{05/04/2012}   Beautiful women

I have been quite intrigued by the furore over Samantha Brick’s article “Why do women hate me for being beautiful”.  I haven’t read the article but I will after I’ve written this.  I have just watched something about it on Daybreak and it’s made me think about my experiences of beautiful women.
In my late teens and early 20s I used to go out a lot with a friend I’d known forever.  Whenever we went out, I felt a bit like the chaperone in the eyes of the men that swarmed to her.  To get her attention I would get drinks bought for me too but she was one of my best friends and always dispatched of them over ignoring me.  She was tall, slim, blonde, gorgeous and always dressed for clubbing.   I used to be ever so slightly in awe of her whenever we went out, and there was also a sense of feeling special for having such a beautiful friend.  I don’t recall the attention she attracted as making me feel bad, maybe I did but I don’t remember that; I just loved the fact she would often take the drinks they bought us, talk politely to them for a bit then turn back to me and be her usual dry, witty and lovely self.
Not long after I first started working after education, I encountered something similar with a colleague.  She too was blonde and charming.  She could charm men and women and you couldn’t help but like her.  She was smart but her rapid promotions were a mystery to all of us and certainly were not a reflection of her suitability for the job.  I am convinced she got those early promotions based on her appearance and her natural charm.
These two women were aware of their exceptional good looks but were both really nice people, to everyone.  But I am aware that the very few exceptionally good looking people I know or encounter are able to use their looks and charm and I can see that that can rub people up the wrong way.  That is where it sours.  Ms Promotion got herself into a role way above her capabilities and it seemed like we mere mortals at the lower rungs of the ladder then got charmed into helping her fulfil her role while she got all the glory.  She was always nice, I believe she was a genuinely sweet person, but from the start of her ascent her magic wore off to those of us still on the lower rungs.
Attractive women are people I want to stare at.  Marilyn Monroe, for example, I would have wanted to just stare at her if we’d met, I would have been completely in awe of her.  But there is another side to it all.  There is envy and resentment at someone beautiful being, say, promoted, getting to the front of queues, getting drinks bought for them.  The first friend I mentioned used to get involved in unprovoked fights, both physical and verbal, because other women thought she was flirting with their boyfriends.  Seriously nasty, spiteful and unwarranted stuff.
We are all extremely judgmental about people based on their looks.  I think we are drawn to good looking people, maybe initially just the same as we are drawn to a beautiful painting, but it’s how we channel that perception that matters.  Something said on TV this morning struck a chord, namely that beauty can be born from confidence because confidence can be sexy, so not all beautiful people necessarily have “perfect” features.  I think our preconceptions about people and our (perhaps) fascination and awe of what we perceive as beauty are a huge hindrance to our progress and a stumbling block in our assessment of people.  This is a subject on which I could ramble on about for thousands of words …


Anastasia says:

I admire your self control because I DID ramble on for a thousand words about Samantha Brick. lol. Enjoyed your post!

Thanks for commenting, it led me to your blog and I enjoyed your less restrained rant!!!!

Anastasia says:

🙂 thanks

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