greenbottletree











{04/06/2012}   Being clumsy

A friend and I have recently been discussing the concept of having spells of clumsiness.  We both go through phases of being clumsy and I am convinced this is normal, though I have no idea why.

I had a distressing bout of breaking wine glasses some months ago.  I broke four on separate occasions in the space of just over a week.  I now have a set of very sturdy wine glasses which will be a little more challenging to break (eek, touch wood!).  It’s weird how you seem to get clumsiness clusters.

Maybe not quite under the umbrella of clumsiness but I am going through a fairly significant spill and dribble phase.  And not just over myself!  I served a piece of BBQed halloumi to a friend the other day and in my enthusiasm to serve it on her plate, I jabbed the spatula a little too vigorously in my attempt to just jiggle if onto her plate; it flew straight across her plate and onto her lap, an oily, hot piece of charred cheese!  Onto a new dress.  I was then really careful and all was ok, except that while clearing up I forgot that my hands were blackened from all things BBQ and wiped them (gross habit, I know) down my previously clean jeans.  Then a few days later, foolishly pouring coffee from a flask into a cup that I was holding above a white shirt, yes, it dribbled.  Actually, it looked like a little floral dot feature at the bottom of my shirt!

I was just thinking that the above series of clumsies might need one more to complete a run, but I just remembered that prior to the halloumi incident I was poised to empty the contents of my cat’s dirty litter tray into the bin.  As it consisted largely of wee-soaked wood pellets so was clumped together, I gave the whole litter box a bang on the side of the large metal bin into which it was destined.  I banged it too vigourously and more than half of the wee-infused litter ended up on my carpet.  Most unsavoury.  Oh, I broke one of my two favourite mugs and an expensive whisky glass (I knew it was stupid to use it for every day purposes) two days ago, a double whammy act of carelessness.  Surely that’s enough?!

Annoying though it is to break or damage things, mild clumsiness is a source of amusement to me, especially hearing about or witnessing other people’s incidents and embarrassment!  One of my favourites recently was somebody (Louise P) resting their open handbag in a wash basin.  Under a motion sensor tap!  Clumsiness or a common sense fail?!  It’s also worth asking someone else (Fiona M) about her rather distressing rice pudding incident!

As for me, while clumsiness does seem to come in phases, I would estimate that there is a 90% chance I will dribble baked beans down my front when trying to eat them.  As for red wine, I had so many bottle pouring drips that I can now only pour from red wine bottles if I’ve made a collar of kitchen paper to put around the neck.  The only other thing I can think of which is a regularly cause of clumsiness is my beloved cowgirl boots.  They have long almost pointed toes and I am not used to such long extremities.  There have been far more issues with them than you can probably imagine.

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