{05/09/2012}   My being-a-celebrity interview

I have just read a quick-fire interview with Tom Jones by Rosanna Greenstreet in The Guardian Weekend from Saturday.  I thought I could pretend to be of great importance and answer the interview.   I am not intending to linger over them so will answer with the first thing that comes into my head and there is a chance my answers might be a bit naff and unexciting.  Here goes:

When were you happiest?

For about a year when I was working in Japan.  I realised I had gone there on my own and was a version of me unhindered by familiarity to others and type and had made great friends, was earning decent money and my memories of a week gone by were of fun things I’d done, not work.

What is your biggest fear?

The deaths of those I love.

What is your earliest memory?

I have confused what I “remember” from photographs with what I really can remember.  I vaguely remember walking up Thurnham Lane with my mum toward my school, possibly on my first day, so I was five.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?

There’s no one person but I always find myself in awe and admiration of people who devote a lot of their time to looking after others.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?


What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Having no comprehension or regard to the feelings of others in pursuit of what they want.

What has been your most embarrassing moment?

There have been many but the most recent was my exchange with Harry Hill over a genuine neighbourly issue that rendered me a jabbering rollercoaster of unfunny one-liners.  I am cringing as I think about it.

What is your most treasured possession?

I am trying to detach myself from possessions so I resent thinking about that.

What would your super power be?

To fly.

What makes you unhappy?

Feeling unable to DO something about an issue or situation.

What is your favourite smell?


What is your favourite book?

A horrible question as there are favourites for different moods and times in my life but I have read Haruki Murakami’s “A Wild Sheep Chase” at least three times and I rarely read a book more than once.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?

I would do everything possible to avoid fancy dress, but if I had loads of money and could rent a perfect outfit, I’ve always wanted to wear a medieval dress.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?

Anything unjust, uncalled for and deliberately hurtful or mean.

Cat or dog?


Is it better to give or to receive?

They are inextricably linked so both in equal measures.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?

I hate this question.  I might think X would be a great person based on my knowledge of them from TV etc, but in reality they might be a prize idiot, and anyway I wouldn’t want a table full of strangers at my dream dinner party.  So a select few of my friends gathered from all over the world.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I know there are many because people mimic my repeated phrases but I can’t think of any as I guess I’m not particularly aware I’m overusing phrases, except that when people tell me them I realise I do use them a lot!

What is the worst job you’ve ever done?

Nothing springs to mind.

When did you last cry, and why?

At various times throughout the Paralympics and Olympics at people’s amazing stories and achievements.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Feeling confident that I can do things on my own.

What keeps you awake at night?

Stress and seagulls.

What song would you like played at your funeral?

Something cheerful and upbeat.

How would you like to be remembered?

As a good friend .

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

There are too many to answer with one for life is a wealth of lessons that you can choose or ignore learning from.  [I am beginning to feel sorry for celebrities who get interviewed and asked these questions all the time]

Where would you most like to be right now?

In the Blue Lagoon in Iceland: hot water, cold air, blue sky, floating on my back with my eyes closed to the sun, feeling the weight of the world being drawn away … there with friends and unlimited funds on my wristband so I could have the odd beer at the water bar.


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