greenbottletree











{14/09/2012}   Plane travel annoyances

At the risk of sounding like a jet setter, which I blatantly am not, I feel a need to share some of my rants and moans about air travel in peasant class:

There is not enough leg room.

I find the seats intolerably uncomfortable.

On short haul flights, people should not be allowed to recline their chairs.  There are few things that make my blood boil on an aircraft more than the person in front suddenly rocketing back into my knees and rendering my already pathetic cubicle of space uninhabitably small and the flimsy and restrictive table even less useful.

Other passengers: noisy ones, ones eating smelly food (a woman sitting next to me once crunched her way through an entire red pepper as if it were an apple,  This annoyed me as the smell, pleasant though it was, was unwelcome at that time and crisp peppers make a lot of noise) and men who feel an infuriating need to sit with their legs wide open, thus completely invading my already limited leg room and sacred, for its very limited nature, personal space.  The odds are, annoying man with legs spread, your legs are not much if at all longer than mine so if I can sit within my restricted space so can you, plus I just know your meat and two veg are not so big as to make it impossible for you to close your legs.

The timing of food.  Despite appreciating good food, I love getting airline food, irrespective of how foul it tastes; I love the surprise element.  It drives me to distraction when the food trolley gets pushed past me, others get fed and I am left until the end, often when the dish I’ve decided on has run out.  I also hate it on long haul flights when you get disturbed from potential sleep to be fed.  My whole eating regime goes totally out the window on flights, I eat far more than I need and I convince myself I need more meals than I could ever normally consume.

Sitting by the window next to two occupied seats, the occupants of which are asleep, when I need to go for a wee.  I hate disturbing people, I hate crossing my legs when I’m bursting for a pee and I hate the idea that you have to almost get permission to go to the toilet by getting the other one or two people to move.

Turbulence.  It scares me.  I am a strong believer that it really is possible for planes to fall to the ground and turbulence is like shaking the plane to dislodge it from its air current thing to send it spiralling to the ground.

Take off.  How on earth is it possible that a great big plane with lots of people on board can whizz along a runway then fly into the sky.  It defies my general understanding of all things and I don’t like it.

When my in-flight entertainment is broken.  I flew nine hours during the day once without my in-flight entertainment.  I was robbed of film viewing and got bored to excess fidgeting levels.

Clouds and bad weather blocking my view.  I like to see land, not for safety or “grounding” reasons, but because I love looking out of the window at the landscape below.

Not getting a window seat.  The best thing about a flight is being able to see out the window.

Ear popping.  I have a friend who went completely deaf after flying on the day of the onset of an exceptionally bad cold.  Her ears bled and everything.  I appreciate this very, very rarely happens and only in exceptional circumstances, but I really don’t like ear popping.

Budget airlines that don’t feed you, unless you’re prepared to pay silly money for soggy sandwiches.

Getting overexcited by free booze on the plane.  Being a bit tipsy is not fun, especially as toilet visits then become a necessity (see above comments).

Plane toilets.  Smelly, cramped and lacking in luxuries.

However, all that said, at the end of this experience you (usually – most obvious exceptions being no-free-time work trips or funerals) have an opportunity to explore somewhere new, which to me can only be exciting, or you get to be almost home, which is also lovely.

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